Why is it that…

July 10, 2008 by admin
Filed under Love At Home, Right Column

Last night as I was lying down to sleep and after I said my nightly prayers, I got to thinking about what I might write about in my next blog. I have always had a curious mind and have often asked the question, “Why?” Here are some observations that I’ve made in my lifetime.

Why is it when you’re in a public bathroom, and there are 20 stalls or so, and you choose a stall far away from everyone else, that someone else comes into the bathroom and chooses the stall right next to yours? Now remember, there are at least 15 stalls to choose from, most of them far away from you, but she chooses the one next to you. Why is that? Doesn’t that seem kind of strange? Just askin’.

Why is it that whenever I have diarrhea and I tell my stepmother, she asks the question, “What color is it?” She does this with my snot too, by the way. Why is that? Why is it necessary for her to know the color of my excrement? I’ll tell you why! My stepmother can diagnose whatever ails you by the color of your void material! My poor dad can’t take a private trip into the bathroom without her reminding him not to flush. What is that about? Apparently, if your poop is dark black, you may have a bleeding ulcer or cancer. This is definite if there’s blood in it. If your poop is a yellowish dun color, you have the stomach flu. I don’t remember what green means. Where she gets this? I do not know. She also becomes concerned if you don’t poop after a couple days, so she keeps tabs on that for my dad too. I find that a little disturbing, and wonder if I’m going to need to know the color, texture and frequency of my husband’s poop some day. I guess it could happen, but I sure hope not.

I have a lot more things I wonder about; not just bathroom things. Like why do people pierce themselves, especially their tongues? What is the pleasure in that? I’ve been told it’s for sexual reasons, but I can’t imagine putting myself through so much pain for sex. But then again, maybe others would. Isn’t it bad enough when a person asks, “Do you want fries with that?” than to say, “Do you mant fried wit dat?” I’m just sayin’ they sound like they have a mouth full of change.

Why is it that every time we make or break camp, it’s raining? I don’t think anything more about that needs to be said. I don’t want to anger God, that’s for sure.

Why have six remotes? Isn’t our technology advanced enough today that we can do all the things we need to do with just one remote? I mean we need to change the t.v. channels, watch DVD’s, record VHS tapes to DVD, digitally record t.v. shows, play CD’s, turn on the fan and operate our computers, so why can’t we do all that with just one remote? Why hasn’t just one universal remote been invented? Wouldn’t that make things easier? This is just another one of my “why-isms”.

Why is it today that many young people feel that they have to wear their pants half-way off their butts? Who came up with this fashion idea? I’m just not getting that one.

Why do people still smoke? This is a big one for me. I can’t understand after all we’ve learned about smoking and the harm that it causes to the smoker and everybody else who has to breathe in the smoke, that people are still smoking. And why do young people start smoking? That’s weird. I can understand older people have the habit, and it’s a tough habit to break, so they don’t quit for whatever reason (maybe they can’t), but after all we know about smoking, why do young people start up? That’s just strange to me. But I digress.

Why is it absolutely unfathomable to touch your seat partner in an airplane? Why is that? About a month ago, I was on a very scary flight, and without thinking, I touched the arm of the gentlemen on my right. I was immediately apologetic to him, feeling I had committed a very big no no. It just isn’t politically correct to touch your seat neighbor. How come? Why did I feel the need to apologize so profusely to him? Who knows and who made up that rule?

Why is it that after my Uncle Marshall accidentally dropped the Thanksgiving turkey on the American Legion Hall floor while carving it, we still ate that turkey without flinching? It’s not like there wasn’t more turkey. I think we had three birds all together that year.

When you’re pregnant, why is it that everybody and their brother’s uncle’s cousin feels a need to touch your stomach without your permission, and they do it? It’s “anything goes” when you’re pregnant. Aren’t there any rules to follow? If not, why not? They don’t touch your boobs, at least they didn’t when I was having babies. Heck, maybe things have changed and they do touch your boobs now. Maybe that rule is out the window too now.

Why is a food that is as good as corn on the cob so messy and difficult to eat? Why can’t it taste lousy and therefore be undesirable like Brussells sprouts or asparagus?

There are some questions that just can’t be answered I guess. Still, I wonder… I guess I’m just an incessant smart alec. That’s the rumor anyway.

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