Doggie
Holiday Guidelines
1. Be especially patient with your humans
during this time. They may appear to
be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting
dog leans.
2. They may come home with large bags of
things they call gifts. Do not
assume that all the gifts are yours.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations
on you. They seem to get some special
kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.
4. They may bring a large tree into the
house and set it up in a prominent
place and cover it with lights and decorations.
Bizarre as this may seem to you, it
is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you
need to know:
- Don't pee on the tree
- Don't drink water in the container that
holds the tree
- Mind your tail when you are near the
tree
- If there are packages under the tree,
even ones that smell interesting or
that have your name on them, don't rip them
open
- Don't chew on the cord that runs from
the funny-looking hole in the wall
to the tree
5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots
of strangers to come visit
during this season. These parties can be
lots of fun, but they also call for
some discretion on your part:
- Not all strangers appreciate kisses
and leans
- Don't eat off the buffet table
- Beg for goodies subtly
- Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers
sit on your sofa
- Don't drink out of glasses that are
left within your reach
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting.
Here your manners will also
be important:
- Observe all the rules in #4 for trees
that may be in other people's
houses. (4a is particularly important)
- Respect the territory of other animals
that may live in the house
- Tolerate children
- Turn on your charm big time
7. A big man with a white beard and a very
loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in
the middle of the night.
DON'T BITE HIM!!
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