Subject: Santa Analysis Rebuttal

Dear College:I read with disbelief your paper "IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS" in light ofthe seemingly unreputable scientific evidence presented, I passed thearticle to our School of Science for confirmation of yourcalculations. I was relieved when I recieved the following reply whichconfirms my belief in the existence of Santa.

THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS
An earlier circulation made some erroneous assumptions leading to atotally fatuous argument concerning the possibility of the existenceof Santa Claus. The authors of the document place all their trust inclassical mechanics and show a woeful ignorance of any Santum effectsderiving from the wave-nature of Santa.Wave TheoryAny impartial observer will note that as soon as consideration isgiven to the theory, two very significant features become immediatelyevident.

We are confident with some certainty of the high kineticenergy of the particle (i.e. santum) and hence have little confidencein the spatial position of the santum. Yes, santum is a wave and notlocalised to one volume of space. Anyone familiar with wave theorywill have encountered tunnelling effects e.g. electron tunnelling. Thephenomenon in the santum effect is more correctly termed "the chimneyeffect" .

Hence the santum particle may appear to penetrate walls,enter and escape from locked rooms etc.You may well ask what evidence there is to support the theory. Thebulk of evidence comes through attempted observations of Santa whichinvariably give readings in the red region of the visible spectra dueto red shift.

As you wilI be aware nearly all sightings of Santa havebeen reported as having red associations.Proof of the PuddingPerhaps the most convincing test is one so simple you can do ityourself at home. Just put out a Christmas pudding, a (small) glassof milk and a spoon on Christmas Eve.When you wake on Christmas morning, check the pudding.*

If the pudding is gone, there is a Santa Claus* If the pudding remains, there is a Santa Claus and you've been bad.

Dr. Mary Claus
The School of Biological & Chemical Sciences
University of GreenwichLondon