Humor: Photo – Tooth Fillings!

June 15, 2009 by admin
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Too funny! This explains it all.

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Humor: Photo

June 15, 2009 by admin
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A Montana Rancher near Hye, Montana is a man of few words!

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Humor (but true) PARENT: Job Description

June 14, 2009 by admin
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POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include food service, floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance , no pension,
no tuition reimbursement , no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do…
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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Pictures: Why Boys Need Parents (humor)

June 14, 2009 by admin
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As a mom of two sons, I thought this was really great and so true. Enjoy! Click on the smaller images for full size versions!

[View with PicLens]

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Humor: Proofreading is a dying art, would you say?

June 9, 2009 by admin
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Man Kills Self Before
Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called
the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.

It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading
was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

I just couldn’t help but sending this along. Too funny.

Something Went Wrong in Jet
Crash, Expert Says

No, really? Ya think?

—————————————————————————-

Police Begin Campaign
to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that’s taking things a bit far!

———————————————————–

Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

—————————————————————

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!

———————————————————-

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

—————————————————————-

If Strike Isn’t Settled
Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?!

———————————————————————–

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!

—————————————————————-

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape? Oklahoma’s
new construction program!

———————————————————-

Man Struck By Lightning:
Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

———————————————-

New Study of Obesity
Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren’t they fat enough?!

———————————————–

Astronaut Takes Blame
for Gas in Spacecraft

That’s what he gets for eating those beans!

————————————————-

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

———————————————–

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

———————————————–

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

———————————————–

And the winner is….

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;
Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

———————————————–

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread
the stupidity and send this to

someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle).

We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

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Photo Humor: I am a cat and I can sleep anywhere

June 4, 2009 by admin
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For All the Girls

May 28, 2009 by admin
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When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn’t hold my tummy in
To wear a belted dress.

But now that I am older,
I’ve set my body free;
There’s comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now,
But used to wear a seven.

And how about those pantyhose-
They’re sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on
The crotch is at my knees?

I need to wear these glasses
As the prints were getting smaller;
And it wasn’t very long ago
I know that I was taller.

Though my hair has turned to grey
And my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I’m the same old me,
Just the outside’s changed a bit.

Author Unknown

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Humor

May 15, 2009 by admin
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
- Mark Twain

Below is a list of some of the humor you can find on this site.
Or, you can search the site for specific keywords.

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Tags: clean humor, Humor

Age is a Funny Thing

April 30, 2009 by admin
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. How old are you?…. “I’m four and a half” …. You’re never 36 and a half …. you’re four and a half going on five!

That’s the key. You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number. How old are you? “I’m gonna be 16.” You could be 12, but you’re gonna be 16.

And then the greatest day of your life happens …. you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony …. you BECOME 21 … YES!!!

But then you turn 30 …. ooohhh what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk …. He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now.

What’s wrong?? What changed?? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40 ….. stay over there, it’s all slipping away ……..

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50 ….. and your dreams are gone.

Then you MAKE IT to 60 ….. you didn’t think you’d make it!!!!

So you BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60 …… then you build up so much speed you HIT 70!

After that, it’s a day by day thing. After that, you HIT Wednesday …. You get into your 80’s, you HIT lunch. My grandmother won’t even buy green bananas …. it’s an investment you know, and maybe a bad one.

And it doesn’t end there …. into the 90’s you start going backwards …. I was JUST 92 …

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again …. “I’m 100 and a half!”

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I’m a Senior Citizen

April 30, 2009 by admin
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* I’m the life of the party … even when it lasts until 8 PM.

* I’m very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

* I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

* I’m the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

* I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

* I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a word you’re saying.

* I’m very good at telling stories … over and over and over and over.

* I’m aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

* I’m so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

* I’m not grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians.

* I’m positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

* I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure place.

* I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.

* I’m having trouble remembering simple words like……..

* I’m realizing that aging is not for sissies.

* I’m anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.

* I’m walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

* I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days.

* I’m in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD’s, IRA’S, AARP.

* I’m wondering, if you’re only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

* I’m a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!

Now If I could only remember who sent this to me! You didn’t, did you?

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Humor: Photo – Tooth Fillings!

Humor: Photo

Humor (but true) PARENT: Job Description

Pictures: Why Boys Need Parents (humor)

Humor: Proofreading is a dying art, would you say?

Photo Humor: I am a cat and I can sleep anywhere

For All the Girls

Humor

Below is a list of some of the humor you can find on this site.
Or, you can search the site for specific keywords.

Age is a Funny Thing

I’m a Senior Citizen

Categories

My Personal Recommendations

Gallery

Paying the Bills…

Links of Interest

Save Money!

Below is a list of some of the humor you can find on this site. Or, you can search the site for specific keywords.

Categories

My Personal Recommendations

Tags

Gallery

Paying the Bills…

Links of Interest

Save Money!

Below is a list of some of the humor you can find on this site.
Or, you can search the site for specific keywords.