The Nest is Emptying

A week from Tuesday, my 19 year-old daughter, Cindi, will be moving out and into the University of Wisconsin-Parkside college dorm, as a Sophomore. She went to school last year, but commuted the 30+ miles every day of the week. With the rising cost of gasoline, and her desire to focus more on school, we’ve come to the conclusion it would be better for her all the way around to move into the dorm.

I like the idea. I’m glad she’s doing it. That doesn’t mean I won’t miss her. Cindi and I are very close, and it’s going to be difficult when she leaves. I’ll probably sob like a baby, but I know she has to do this.

Twenty-one-year-old Kelli moved out last April. She gave us one day’s notice, had no firm plan and no money. I was frantic. Funny enough though, she is making it – barely, but making it. When Kelli left, I didn’t think I was going to survive it.

All these years, Tom and I have been “dreaming” about the empty nest – wishing for it, anticipating it, wanting it. And yet, now that it is almost completely upon us, I’m not too crazy about it. The truth is, I want my children around me. I want them around me forever. They are constantly on my mind and in my heart. Whatever happened to the nuclear family? What was so wrong with that set-up? It doesn’t seem right that we’ve got this big four-bedroom, four-bath house, and no kids to fill it up with.

Our son stays with us, but only because he can’t afford to move out yet. If he could, he’d be out there in a heartbeat, away from me. If he could, he would get as far away from me as he could possibly make it. That doesn’t seem right.

But I remember when all I wanted in my life was to get away from my parents. I wanted my own place in the world. I wanted responsibility. I wanted confidence. I wanted to grow up. When it comes down to it, I don’t really want my children to grow up. I’d be happy if they were little again.

I know this is the way life is supposed to be; that my children are supposed to grow up and leave me, but I don’t have to like it. I don’t have to ever get used to it, and I honestly don’t think I ever will. That’s not a complaint, just a fact, and I needed to express it.

Perhaps when they marry and bring me grandchildren, I’ll be able to get the big picture. But until then, I’m not buying into the “niceties” of the empty nest. Just as I never received a manual when the children were born, I don’t quite know how to handle this leaving home business. I guess it’ll come in time; raising them did. I sure have been blessed to have had that experience.

The truth is I know it’ll all work out. It’s just going to take me a little time to get used to the idea of the empty nest.

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Notes from talking to Elder Hill on Christmas

We had a wonderful time talking with Elder Hill on Christmas Day. He speaks English with an accent and frequently had a hard time remembering the English word for things he wanted to say. He told us he even dreams in Portuguese. We laughed a lot as he struggled with English. He is very, very happy and loves it there. He says he has never been happier in his life.

Here are some of the things he told us.

* No one has clothes dryers there. Everyone hangs their clothes outside to dry. People there are surprised to learn that most Americans have dryers in their homes or apartments.

* A chocolate candy bar costs about $4,00 there. A box of cereal $8.00. Electronics are about 3 times the price we pay.

* Many people live in a home that sounds like a duplex but instead of them being side to side, they are front to back. The owner will live in the back and rent out the front (or vice versa)

* There isn’t access to front doors from the street. The missionaries “Clap doors”. Meaning they stand outside and clap for someone to come to the door.

* He was really excited to get instant potatoes from his grandmother for Christmas. There aren’t many things there that are instant and easy cooking. He also loves getting brownie mix and cookie mix. Things that are easy to fix and don’t take much time.

* There is a strong German influence there. Elder Hill took four years of German in high school and would have loved to have gone to Germany but he is thrilled with Brazil.

* According to Wikipedia “From 1824 to 1969, around 250,000 Germans emigrated to Brazil , being the fourth largest immigrant community to settle in the country, after the Portuguese, Italians and Spaniards.” It goes on to say…”The first years were not easy. Many Germans died of tropical disease, while others left the colonies to find better living conditions. The German colony of São Leopoldo was a disaster. Nevertheless, in the following years, a further 4,830 Germans arrived at São Leopoldo, and then the colony started to develop, with the immigrants establishing the town of Novo Hamburgo (New Hamburg). From São Leopoldo and Novo Hamburgo , the German immigrants spread into others areas of Rio Grande do Sul, mainly close to sources of rivers.”

Elder Hill was in Sao Leopoldo for the first 6 months of his mission and is now only 30 minutes away from that first area he served in. He says they eat a lot of rice, beans, meat and potato salad. He tells us Brazilian BBQ is amazing and he is looking forward to cooking us Brazilian food and teaching his Dad how to prepare Brazilian BBQ. Elder Hill has always liked to cook and he is good at it.

*It’s summer there right now and the humidity is grueling. Often above 80%. This has been his only complaint. No one there has air conditioning. Everyone has fans. Brazilians are surprised to learn that most Americans have some sort of air conditioning in their home (we are SO spoiled!)

*His Portuguese is so good that people are surprised he’s only been speaking it for eight months. He believes the prayers on his behalf is the reason why the language has come so easily for him.

* The apartment he is in is on the second floor and it’s infested with termites. Their wings and droppings are everywhere in their apartment. He seemed to take this in stride. I was totally grossed out by his description of this problem.

* He talked to his Dad about Football. I didn’t pay much attention to what they said about that

* There are wild dogs everywhere and every home has at least a couple of dogs.

* When people find out he’s American. They blame America for their poor economy and always have questions about Obama. He says they are more interested in the leadership of America than Brazil .

* Also on his P-days he is learning guitar.  Apparently a lot of people there play the guitar and he says being able to play is a great ice breaker with new families.

Photos: Talking to Elder Hill on Christmas Day!

The Christmas Star

By Gregory G. Allen

So many people can recall their first Christmas pageant – re-enacting the nativity scene right in front of the entire church congregation.  Everyone vying to be the angel, one of the wise men or the true leads: Mary or Joseph.   I was only in second grade, but I knew I wanted a large role.  And God would forgive me for havi ng used our plastic Mary & Joseph – you know, the ones that live on the front lawn through all of the Christmas season – for the previous holiday, Halloween.  Yes, a simple sheet over both of them and a rope made for amazing ghost hanging from the tree.  But here we were standing in front of the woman who had volunteered to direct the motley crew of children through the monumental task.

As she passed out roles to all the children, starting with those whose parents were deacons or gave the most money to the church, I watched as the good parts all dwindled away: past the shepherds, the angels…and even the animals.  No, I was assigned to carry the star that would lead the wise men to our savior on his birth.

Though my initial reaction was angst over losing out on a juicy character role, I soon came to realize the magnitude of importance that had been bestowed upon me.  The angel may be leading the shepherds to the baby, but I was the one leading the angel on her way!  I set out working with my parents on the most amazing star you had ever seen.  Rolls of aluminum foil were wrapped around and around a cardboard cutout that was then attached to a broom stick so that my star could ride high in the sky as I walked down that aisle of the church.   I would carry that star down the street to practice the length of the church to make sure my seven- year-old arms wouldn’t get tired.

Then came the big dress rehearsal where all the children were called in to rehearse together two nights before the program.  That was the moment my world came crashing down. Little did I know there were two other children assigned to carry the star and a bigger, three-pole-star had been created so that each of us had a stick to hang on to.  I was crushed. Not because I wasn’t alone, but because we would not get to use the star I had created with my parents.  They assured me this was better to carry it with two other boys so that we each could burden some of the load.  These boys weren’t in the pageant to be serious. They were there to play.  I was placed on the middle pole and the two of them would let go of their stick, walk along the side of me…sometimes singing, and sometimes not.

This star outweighed my small foil star by pounds and pounds, but I struggled and made sure that star made it to the manger and that those wise men knew where they were going – even if my fellow star boys didn’t seem to care if the gifts ever made it to Jesus.  You know, it was probably then when I realized that when I grew up I would want to be a director.  I wouldn’t surprise my cast with last-minute added poles on a star and I would make sure everyone carried their own weight when on stage.   I do remember the feeling of pride I had from the church congregation applause as we walked the aisle and a spot light shined brightly on the top of our star.  And every time I direct a show as an adult, I think back to that endless role of aluminum foil and wonder what kind of work my actors must be doing to create their own characters at home.

Branding as a Small Business Marketing Tool (12.10)

John Ingrisano, thefreestyleentrepreneur.com

Branding can make your small business marketing more effective and more profitable.  And, no you don’t have to be UPS or McDonalds to create an effective brand.  Read on for why and how even the smallest of small businesses can create brand recognition.

Are you unique?  Probably not.  In all likelihood, there are dozens, hundreds, even thousands of companies that do what you do.  You could say the same about most shoe companies, shipping companies, or coffee vendors – until you look at Nike, UPS or Starbucks.  They have unique images that make them stand out.  They got where they are today partially due to a concept called “branding,” and it can be just as effective for a mom ‘n pop shop as for multi-national corporations.

Branding gives your business and your products a personality.  Branding may involve a sound (the snap, crackle, pop of Rice Krispies), a slogan (Capital One’s “What’s in your wallet?”), a visual image (McDonald’s Golden Arches), a personality (the AFLAC duck), even a smell (the aroma of Cinnabon products in the mall).

Properly done, branding makes people feel good about doing business with you.  It doesn’t create customers.  It creates a community of supporters.  This becomes a culture.  That’s why people pay $3.75 for a mug of coffee at a café with a warm ‘n fuzzy atmosphere rather than grab a cup of the same blend to go for 75 cents at a diner with a neon “eats” sign in the window.

How can you create your company’s unique brand and image?  Here are some ideas that can get your started:

• Audit your current branding. What image are you projecting now?  This is your current brand.  Is it dull and unexciting?  Why do your current customers come in?  And how do they feel when they leave?  The goal of branding is to give your customers a positive experience.  Make them want to do business with your business; make sure they enjoy the experience; and make them want to come back.  Ask yourself, “What can I do to make my customers’ experience different and more rewarding?”

• Focus on the little things, especially if you are a small company with a small budget.  It doesn’t take much.  Ask any Midwest Airlines customer about the company and he or she will likely croon about the freshly baked, piping hot chocolate chip cookies served after lunch.  You do not have to spend a fortune to make your company unique.  Redesign your business cards.  Send out Thank You cards to customers and clients.  Jazz up your web site.  Sponsor a local event.

• Differentiate yourself from the competition. Take a day trip and do a little research.  Visit your competitors (or at least their websites), and check out what they are doing well, poorly or just so-so.  Then capitalize on their weaknesses.

• Create a personality, a mythology, and a belief system for your business.   Effective branding often involves a creation story.  Consider two counter-culture guys who started making weirdly named ice cream flavors (Ben & Jerry’s) or a techie nerd called Bill Gates who started a multi-billion dollar computer company in his garage (Microsoft).

Branding is about what makes you special as a small business owner. Create it, capitalize on it, market it, create that unique brand image, and then turn it into increased sales and higher profits.

Work hard.  Make money.  Have fun.