Translate
Slow Down
Author Unknown
About ten years ago, a young and very successful executive named Josh was
traveling down a Chicago neighborhood street. He was going a bit too fast in
his sleek, black, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old.
He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down
when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child darted out, but
a brick sailed out and “WHUMP”-it smashed into the Jag’s shiny black side
door! SCREECH…!!!! Brakes slammed!
Gears ground into reverse, and tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot
from where the brick had been thrown.
Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a
parked car. He shouted at the kid, “What was that all about and who are you?
Just what the heck are you doing?” Building up a head of steam, he went on.
“That’s my new Jag, that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Why did you throw it?”
“Please, mister, please…I’m sorry! I didn’t know what else to do!” pleaded
the youngster. “I threw the brick because no one else would stop!” Tears were
dripping down the boy’s chin as he pointed around the parked car. “It’s my
brother, mister,” he said. “He rolled off the curb and fell out of his
wheelchair and I can’t lift him up.”
Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, “Would you please help me get him back
into his wheelchair? He’s hurt and he’s too heavy for me.” Moved beyond
words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling
lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back into the
wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts,
checking to see that everything was going to be OK. He then watched the
younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE
- a long and slow walk. Josh never did fix the side door of his Jaguar. He
kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has
to throw a brick at him to get his attention..
It’s kind of stretching it, but sometimes in life we have it good and forget
about God. We need to continue to praise him and look to him during the good
times in life. Let us “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10
Special thanks to Kelly Carrier
Church Funnies
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as
they were on the way to church service, “And why is it
necessary to be quiet in church?” One bright little
girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
*********************************
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with
fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned
them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he
picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old
leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the
pages. “Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out.
“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice he answered,
“It’s Adam’s suit!!”
*********************************
*********************************
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel
were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang
and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had
enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in
church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See
those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”
*********************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
“Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I
mentally polished my halo while I asked, “No, how are we
alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.
*********************************
*********************************
*********************************
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter,
Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at
bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the
prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened
with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right
up to the end of the prayer: “Lead us not into
temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us some E-mail.
Amen.”
**********************************
A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was
coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop,
and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he
would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it
went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way
down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was
near tears from laughing so hard by the time
he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was
getting more and more distressed from all the laughing,
and was also near tears by the time he reached the
pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child
sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear.”
*******************************
One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was “acting
up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did
their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew
but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked
the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on
his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the
foyer, the little one called loudly to the
congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”
*******************************
And one particular four-year old prayed, “And forgive us
our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in
our baskets.”
*******************************
One student’s prayer:
“Now I lay me down to rest,
And hope to pass tomorrow’s test.
If I should die before I wake,
That’s one less test I have to take.”
*******************************
A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t
make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having
a real good time like I am.”
Lie, The
by ROGER ROTVOLD on Nov. 10, 1999
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a
group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12
years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest
the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, “What
are you doing with that dog?”
One of the boys replied, “This dog is just an old
neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can
take him home. So we’ve decided that whichever one of us
can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.”
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. “You boys
shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed.
He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying,
beginning, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie,” and
ending with , “Why when I was your age, I never told a lie.”
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the
reverend was beginning to think he’d gotten through to them,
the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, “All right, give
him the dog.”